Trying To Live A Dream That Really Wasn't Mine

I am a fan of many of the shows that appear on The Food Network and other shows like Top Chef, Next Level Chef and Chopped. I love seeing famous and aspiring chefs and home cooks following their passions and dreams. I'm also drawn to stories about successful business people who leave corporate jobs to attend culinary school or to open a bakery, coffee shop, or home business. Following a passion or dream sometimes requires one to take a leap of faith, trusting that all will be well. "Leap, and the net will appear." John Burroughs.

My daughter moved back to Nashville from San Diego after a divorce in 2007 and I had retired (for the first time), so we were both looking for our next chapters. While living in California, Dawn had adopted a vegetarian/plant based lifestyle and she came back with an idea to bring this type of cuisine to the Nashville area. No restaurant in Nashville sold only vegetarian or plant-based options at that time, so my brave risk-taking daughter had to work hard to convince her fearful risk averse Mama to leap and trust that the net would appear. I had nearly a 40+ year career in Finance and Dawn had a 14 year career in Marketing, so it makes perfect sense that our next chapters would be as restaurateurs. What could possibly go wrong? Wanna hear it, here it go..............

I found a mobile kitchen for sale online and drove to Arkansas to pick it up and the motor in my husband's truck almost blew up pulling it back to Tennessee. We then purchased a surplus van from a Metro Government auction site to pull the trailer around town. There were no other food trailers in town that I knew of in early 2007, so there were no Health or Food Regulations specifically for food trailers. New regulations were created by The Health Department because of our business and we were allowed to open as the new rules were literally being written. Dawn knew somebody who knew somebody that owned a lot who agreed to let us park our trailer and share the electricity hook up. Prestige Events & Catering LLC was officially in business and our next chapters had begun. As with any new business, the business concept on paper had to be tweaked a bit as the reality of day to day operations shifted. It took a while for us to find our niche and for customers who were interested in vegetarian and plant based food to find us. We were barely keeping our heads above water, but we pressed on.

We were a vendor at multiple events, festivals, and parades in the Middle Tennessee area including: the 4th of July Downtown Celebration in Nashville, Earth Day, and The Shakespeare Festival. Setting up six days a week in the lot and working events like these was physically exhausting and mentally challenging. We were still barely keeping our heads above water, but we pressed on but this time with a few sputters along the way.

I was still waiting for the passion for the new next chapter that I was living in to kick in, which was not happening. I was physically exhausted from the long hours and emotionally exhausted because the fear, self-doubt, anxiety and depression that I had lived with most of my life had set in too. Around that time the owner of the lot that we parked the trailer in approached my brave risk-taking daughter with an idea to move our business from the trailer to a building down the street that he owned. They had been in discussions for a while before she finally shared the idea with me because she knew that I'd freak out, which I did. I eventually relented because I wanted desperately to overcome the crippling fear that kept me stuck and unable to move forward in my life. I wanted to appear to be brave for once to myself and to others. Within a few weeks, we were dealing with a construction crew and timelines, the health department, creating an expanded menu, deciding on a theme and decor, interviewing for a staff, buying supplies, and sometimes just remembering to breathe. All the while, Dawn was busy too trying to find a new normal as a single mom of two young kids after her divorce. By the time that we opened The Veggie Cafe, I was already over it. Between the fourteen hour days filled with everything from meeting the produce truck at 6:00 a.m. to mopping the floors before leaving at 8:00 p.m., I accepted that the passion that I was waiting for wasn't likely coming. The fact that my sister surprised us with the news that she had quit her job as a phlebotomist to "come help us out" totally devastated me. She was a breast cancer survivor and she walked away from her only health insurance source. That added an additional level of stress and pressure to keep moving forward.

We operated The Veggie Cafe for about two years before selling the business to a brother and sister team who had worked in the food industry for years. They were looking for a place to share their passion for food with others, and the building owner knew that we were not renewing our lease. We never turned a profit, which is common for new restaurant businesses. We contracted with the new owners to receive monthly payments that enabled us to pay off a a large amount of the debt that we were left with. They opened a 1950's Diner themed restaurant that was open for a few years. We only have one bank loan left with a balance of a few thousand dollars to pay off. By the end of 2024 I plan to finally be making my last payment on the restaurant experiment.

After selling the business, my sister returned to her job at the hospital. I was grateful that she did because the cancer returned and she needed health insurance. She passed away seven years ago. We sold the trailer to someone who operated a bar-b-que business, and my daughter and I worked to repair our relationship that had become a bit strained due to the stress of running the business and failed expectations.

Hats off to the dreamers who follow their passions in Nashville where new restaurants and food trucks are opening all around town. And a special congratulations to my friend, Lynn Parker (Chef Lola), who took the leap last year and opened her "Food 4 Life Meal Prep" and catering business. She has a passion for food that I pray she never loses, even on days when she has doubts about her leap.

I learned several hard and expensive lessons from this experience. I wasn't following a passion or my dream, I was trying to conquer my fear of leaping into a new chapter trusting that a net would appear. That fear of leaping never went away, which explains why I never really enjoyed the experience. I think it's time to finally sell, donate, or gift some of the items that I've held on to for all these years. Yep, even my favorite tomato apron that I wore has got to find a new home.

I hope that you find your true passion and live your dream,

Marilyn