I have acquired a few nicknames during my lifetime that I'm not too proud of and there's one in particular that often led to an argument with my husband every time that he called me "Ms. Glass Half Empty". I'm aware now that it ruffled my feathers so much because he was actually telling the truth. In the past, I almost expected the worse things to happen and if you needed someone to point out everything that might go wrong, I was that person. I was fearful, doubtful, and stuck in negativity. I've worked hard to change that mindset, but because I'm human, every once in a while I'll experience a moment when Ms. Glass Half Empty shows up. A few days ago I had to recognize that she was present and sent her packing.
I received a text from my great-niece Raven just as I was leaving the bank and heading home. After I saw her message, "Hey Aunt Marilyn!, I need a favor", Ms. Glass Half Empty showed up and I immediately assumed the worst. Where is she? Is she okay? Does she have car trouble? Something must be wrong because she's never done this before. Those negative thoughts overwhelmed me so I asked her to call me, and then I realized that she was likely at work and couldn't call. A few minutes later she sent me a lengthy text describing the favor that she needed. She had just found out that they were having a "bake day" at work and everyone was asked to bring in a dessert that is a family tradition. She shared, "I don't have time to bake these people nothing." Raven wanted me or her Big Mama to bake a Honey Bun Cake for her and she even offered to purchase the ingredients and have them delivered to us. I sat in my car to gather myself and I had to grant myself some grace and self-forgiveness for immediately jumping to the negative thinking.
The favor that my sweet girl wanted was for me to bake a cake for her to take to work, and had I just looked at the laughing emoji on the first text, I would have known that all was well and saved myself thirty minutes of anxiety and worry. It's easy to slip back into old thoughts and habits sometimes, thus I continue to be a work in progress. Not only did I bake her the Honey Bun Cake that she requested, I surprised her with the dessert that I believe is our family's traditional dessert, Big Mama's Blonde Brownies. I hope that the brownies make it to her office though.
"Fear and assumptions are defining beliefs, thoughts that are so well integrated into your life that they feel right even though they may actually be wrong." ~ Laura Berman Fortgang
I feel this one for sure, Marilynn! My daughter once said to me, "Momma, you have to stop living like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop." Sometimes, that is a conscious choice that I have to make!